Self Sabotage 101

Let's talk about self-sabotage.


What are the chances you could benefit from defending yourself more often?

I’ve heard it said we are all the judge, jury, and defense in our own lives.

Sadly, most of us spend our time judging and convicting ourselves without making a fair defense.

You can start making notable change when you come to terms with this idea. When people give up, it’s often because they’re spending time as the judge and jury and forget to defend themselves

Here’s an example: Susan wants to lose 5 pounds this month. 

Her brain starts telling her she’s never going to do it, she isn’t serious about it, she doesn’t have what it takes (judge). 

This is going to be too hard (jury). 

Susan’s jury ruled everything is going wrong, and she’s convicted of being a failure before she even truly begins.

What if Susan could stop in that moment, capture those thoughts, and defend herself instead?

Defense might look like saying, “In my defense, I have been exercising regularly. In my defense, I didn’t overeat at my birthday dinner. In my defense, I’ve already lost 2 pounds.”

Susan's struggle isn’t in losing weight. Her struggle is the temptation to look for evidence to convict herself. (<--- Read that last sentence again, please.)

Why?

Because it gives her the opportunity to self-sabotage. 

She stops the uncomfortable, difficult journey before she has a chance to complete it.

No one wants the difficult journey, but everyone wants the outcome they dream about accomplishing.

So what is it going to be?

• Are you going to convict yourself of being incapable of reaching this goal? Or...

• Are you going to use your energy to defend yourself, to have your back, and to help yourself achieve this goal?

We owe it to ourselves to identify and present the evidence that we’re capable of doing hard things.

If you do not look for evidence to support your progress, you will prove yourself right. You will convict yourself of being incapable of making change.

Coaching Questions:

Which dream feels impossible in your life today?

How could you defend yourself…to yourself…to keep making progress one day at a time?