Breaking Barriers: Why Women Say No to Coaching
I’m going to be candid with you.
When a person says no to coaching, it’s never about the money.
How do I know?
When I hired my first coach in 2013, we had $0 available in our budget for it.
So I made a way.
I asked for cash for Christmas.
I asked for cash for my birthday.
I cut back on lunches out at work.
I stopped getting my nails done at the salon.
I stopped buying new clothes for a year.
I sold small tech devices, used clothing, and jewelry.
I kept track of every dollar saved until I could pay for coaching.
I knew I’d hit a ceiling in my performance, and I knew deep down that the solution I desired would begin with me.
The vision I had for improving my self-awareness and growing as a leader, wife, and mom motivated me to find the money.
I found a way to pay for coaching, and you will, too.
So…why does a person really say no to coaching?
There are two main reasons I see a person avoid coaching:
1) Low self-regard
2) Fear of success (and what that would mean
for every other aspect of their lives)
Low self-regard shows up in the leader who chooses martyrdom (I can’t be selfish; I need to focus on my team right now. I’ll hire a coach when I have more time to focus on myself.)
…or the unintentionally hypocritical working parent (I feel guilty spending money
on a coach for myself but have no problem spending money on my kids’ extra-curricular activities.)
Low self-regard is difficult for us to recognize in ourselves, but our team and kids (the people we lead) can easily detect when we’re consistently valuing their needs more than our own.
Fear of success is a funny thing, right? Why wouldn’t you or I want to succeed?
We might believe that our success is going to upset others.
We might believe that our success will cause us to lose some relationships.
We might fear that our success through coaching would create
for us a life we don't believe we deserve.
The fact is, a person’s fear of success coming through coaching is 100% valid.
You will succeed when you hire a coach.
You might not recognize yourself after coaching, yet you’ll never have known yourself better.
If you’ve allowed the hypocrisy of low self-regard or the fear of success keep you from coaching, please consider stepping out from the cold shadows into the warm light.
This is no time for shame; this is a time for action.
No one is going to choose your success for you.
Your next step is to choose success for yourself.
