How are you today?


A song came up on my playlist last week that I hadn't heard in years. It took me back to a time when my answer to that question above would've been, "I'm not doing well, honestly."

In 2009, our family lived in London and attended a Christian music festival in Northern England.

I remember listening to Superchick perform the song “Stand In The Rain” live at the concert.

I cried hot tears at the music festival among all the other seemingly happy worshippers.

• Money was very tight, and we were surviving on the donations of generous donors who helped us break even if Chris and I were careful with our budget.

• Our ministry was growing rapidly, but we didn’t have much direction.

• I could sense my kids needed more stability than our travels were providing them.

• I’d been asked to leave our local church. (That story is NUTS! I promise to share it with you in its entirety someday.)

• I was experiencing some health issues that would eventually require surgery.

• I was gut-achingly lonely. The kind of lonely where I quit checking social media because I was jealous of friends who had seemingly normal lives where they shared dinners, child care, and date nights with other couples.

It really was the best of times and the worst of times. We were seeing God work in incredible ways, but life was so different that what I'd hoped it would be for our young family.

I wanted to give my kids so much more. I wanted to have a job or a title to feel I mattered. And I wanted to have friends who’d sit on my couch and laugh with me.

The lyrics of the song at the festival washed over me:

She never slows down
She doesn't know why
But she knows that when she's all alone
Feels like it's all coming downShe won't turn around
The shadows are long, and she fears if she cries that first tear
The tears will not stop raining down

So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, what's lost can be found
You stand in the rain

She won't make a sound
Alone in this fight with herself
And the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall down
She wants to be found
The only way out is through everything she's running from
Wants to give up and lie down

So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, what's lost can be found
You stand in the rain

I cried, and then I decided I wanted to fight.

• I’d fight to make friends.

• I’d fight to look for opportunities to help my kids thrive in a foreign place where we lacked community.

• I decided to see a different doctor.

• I chose to pat myself on the back for great budgeting practices.

• I opted to unclench my jaw.

The irony? I had to stop and cry before I could think straight.

Some of you have been told that strong people don't cry, and I want you to hear from me that it's just not true.

I’m so glad my husband, Chris, snapped this pic of the kids and me with the Superchick gals after the concert. It’s a reminder to the work God did in my heart that day.  

I can look back now and tell you that every single thing that tortured my mind and heart that day turned out fine.

It all turned out way more than fine, in fact.

Maybe you need to hear this today, Dana.

Let yourself drown in the hurt, pain, or fear you’re feeling.

You won’t stay under too long.

God stands ready to wipe your tears, listen to your angry thoughts, and bring order to your confused mind.

You are not alone.