Green Flag Framework: Positive Paths in Decision Making

Listen to Green Flag Framework: Positive Paths in Decision Making

Well, hello there everyone. Welcome to another episode of Been There, learned that I am Dana Byers. I'm a certified coach. I work specifically with Christian working women. Many of you're entrepreneurs, you are busy working moms. You might be single women who are climbing the ladder in the corporate world. I love all of you, I love getting to work with all of you, and it's a really special part of my week to get to spend a little bit of time with you here. And so I just want to thank you for being here today. I want to share with you something I created. It's my own little intellectual property and I call it the Green Flag Framework. You've probably not heard of it. I don't talk about it a lot. I just use it with my clients and sometimes in conversations with friends. And I recently had coffee with this amazing young leader in my city.

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She's a vice president at a bank, just incredible, so smart, just a relational leader, loves Jesus. And as we were talking, I asked her, I said, what are your green flags for the clients that you're trying to work with? And she said, oh my gosh, no one's ever asked me that. I love that question. And it's something, you know how it goes when you think a certain way for a long time, it doesn't seem novel or new to you. And then you realize, wow, this is encouraging or helpful to someone. And so after I had that meeting with her, I said, I'm going to record a podcast episode about green flags because it's really just kind of a reflection of my perspective on life and a lot of fun slash difficult decisions I've made over the years. And it's something that's navigated, it's really helped me navigate things better than I would have had I not taken the time to kind of work through the framework.

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And so a little bit of context on that is first you know what a red flag is, right? In today's society, we hear about red flags all the time. Like, oh my gosh, I was dating this guy and it was such a red flag when he said X, Y, Z, or I went to apply for a job and I found out that their culture is a certain way, and that was a major red flag for me. And while there's nothing wrong with that terminology, in fact, I think it's very helpful to help us make decisions when we identify a red flag or something that kind of goes against our values, that's very helpful. But I love stepping back and using this green flag framework to identify ahead of time what are my green flags? And once I know them, once those flags are in place, I get to go further faster in my decision making and the relationships that I pursue in the places I want to give money or spend money and how I want to spend my time because I know my own green flags. So a little caveat here is that it's really easy for us, I think as a society as a whole,

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But especially those of us who follow Jesus, those of us who are in the community of believers who are in the church, it's very easy for us to become self-absorbed, to think about just God and me the way he made me. And I'm so unique and I want all of these certain particular things. We don't want to become that way or so to the point that we're excluding others and that we become almost shut off to opportunities. So don't hear me encourage that. What I want you to look at this is from a point of I'm going to set some time aside to figure out my green flag framework to get to know myself better so that I can make a more significant impact in the community in which God has placed me. Okay? So that's the caveat. That's what I'm asking you to commit to as we step into learning the green flag framework.

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All right? So there's five steps to really getting a good understanding of your green flags. And the first one might sound simple, but it's very important and foundational, and that is to identify your green flags. So I want you to think about all kinds of relationships where you might need to know where the green flags are, what could set you off. But we're going to look for the optimistic side of things. Of course, we don't want to be focused on something like toxic positivity, but we do want to know, wow, when I heard this person say that, that let me know I was heading in the right direction, or when she told me this was their company's value, it really piqued my interest because I care about that as well. So it's not toxic positivity, but it's looking for ways that you can make connections.

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So if you identify your green flags, you're going to be creating a framework around all kinds of things. You could be creating a green flag framework around people you're willing to date. If you just move to a new area and you're trying to find a local church, there are going to be some green flags. If you have little kids, you're looking for a green flag that they're going to love on your kids. Well, and I would want to know if I were you, one of my green flags would be do they background check all their children's volunteers? How engaged are their children's volunteers? Are they able to help children with special needs if my family has a child with special needs? So there are green flags you're looking for if you're just trying to find a local church, if you're trying to hire someone to come do a job in your house, maybe to hire a painter, maybe you need to buy a car or maybe you are, as in the case with my banker friend, maybe you're working on a relationship with a potential new client.

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You are looking for green flags. For me, I have green flags a lot when I'm having maybe a consultation call or having coffee with a potential client, and she says things to me like, man, I've really seen myself grow, but right now I'm not doing much and I'm sensing that God is wanting to stretch me. I'm looking for a person who will challenge me, encourage me, and hold me accountable because I think I'm so close to stepping into the person that God made me to be, but I just need a little bit of help to get there. That's a major green flag for me when I have a conversation with a woman like that. Now the choice is hers. I may not be a green flag for her, but she is for me. And that's okay if we aren't a match, but at least we come to the conversation well aware of the things that we are looking for.

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So the way you identify your green flags within this framework is to mine your brain for gold. This is a coaching term I've heard multiple coaches use. It's not something that I came up with, but I love the language around it. We are going to mine your brain for gold, and what that means is there's already gold in there. When you meet with a coach like me or someone else, that's what we are doing. We are pulling out the gold from your experiences, your understanding, your giftings, your strengths, and we are showing it to you and we're helping you process it to identify, well, what worked in the past? Let's say, for example, you're trying to consider all your green flags in the framework of buying a car. Okay, well, let's talk about the last time you bought a car. What worked for you? What were some green flags?

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Well, I went to the dealership. I connected with a person who wasn't super salesy. He really cared about meeting my needs. Okay, so there's a green flag for you, someone who's a relational person that you can work with at a dealership, and then you would just keep going down that path. What were some other things that worked in the previous scenarios that helped you feel confident and comfortable and moving towards that purchase? Okay, so you're mining your brain for gold, whether you're talking about a dating relationship, previous working experiences, what worked for you, what attracted you to that opportunity to let you know, I see God in this. That's how you mine your brain for gold. So that's the first way in this green flag framework that we start developing our green flags, and that's to identify them. So that's step one. Next we're going to look at 0.2 to develop your green flag framework.

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And 0.2 is to become a student. All right? It's not a fluke that this podcast is called Been There, learned that I'm passionate about learning. I hope I'm learning till the Day I die. It is so fun to see the novel ways that people express or come up with ideas, try businesses, communicate, all those things. I love observing them and learning from them. And a great way that you and I can do that to develop our Green Flag framework is to ask questions. We're going to have to be maybe a little bit uncomfortable. Put ourselves out there to invite someone to coffee just because we're curious. We are going to learn more about others. If you're on my email list, you've seen a couple emails recently about how to ask open-ended questions like a coach does. That's going to help you learn so much more than if you asked a close ended question.

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You're trying to seek out opportunities when you're a student, you're trying things on for size. All you have to do with step two is to experiment. It might be an opportunity for you to volunteer. Going back to that, buying a car example, heck, it might be an opportunity for you to rent the type of car that you're considering buying. Rent it, try it out for a week, see what you think about it before you really dive headlong into purchasing. One, you're becoming a student. And the thing about being a student that's really important is another approach to coaching that I teach my clients, and that is the idea of being neutral. Now, being neutral doesn't mean we don't have feelings about the things we're learning. You might dive headlong into an organization perhaps that you're considering supporting financially, maybe a nonprofit, and the more you dive into it, you might decide it's not for you.

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It's not a green flag, but your ability to identify that without beating yourself up for it and without beating up the nonprofit that you've chosen not to support is to remain neutral. When you're a student, you're there to learn, so you make observations that don't have to change completely how you approach things, but they do shape a stronger worldview and understanding for you so that the next time you're mining your brain for gold, you're going to have a greater experience from which you can draw. So in phase two, when you are a student, you are experimenting, you're volunteering, you're contributing a little bit of yourself so that you can learn and you're really putting yourself out there. You've got to go in it with curiosity. You have no idea if it's going to become a green flag or not, but this is your opportunity to learn.

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Now we're going to move on to phase three and step three of this green flag framework is to tell others. I love this because I feel like personally, when I learn things, sharing, what I learn is meant to support other people, the people around me, my clients, my family, my friends, the people I love to say, Hey, I want you to know I learned this amazing thing. They may or may not be significantly interested, but when it comes up in conversation, it's so fun to have learned some things while you were a student that you can take to step three where you're telling and sharing with others. You're sharing what works, you're others about what you learned, maybe about a church you visited, maybe that church wasn't right for you, but they've got just the right youth ministry for your friends kids, and they're also looking for a church you might have discovered interesting about a particular make or model of a car.

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And you can tell your friends that if you want. See, there's such value in being a student. Whenever you see a friend, they're probably in this phase three of the Green Flag framework. They're the ones who tell you, Hey, I went to this local store. It was so awesome. Everyone, go there, spend your money, support them. They're incredible people. Here's what their products do. You become intentionally or unintentionally an evangelist for the things that you're learning about, you're telling other people. So that's phase three of the Green Flag framework. And then in phase four, you've moved past being a student, you've decided, yes, there's a green flag in this area of decision that I'm pursuing. You've already started telling others about it, and then you just really get down to business. In step four, you are pursuing your green flags with passion. You are showing up consistently.

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You are giving you contributing maybe time, maybe money, maybe your resources. You might've committed to an organization where you're working full time. You are leaning into these green flags. I'm thinking about this banking friend again that I mentioned I had coffee with, and one way that she lives out this step four of the Green Flag framework is I've experienced her showing up to the events of her clients. She's just showing support. She's not expecting anything out of it, but she is living out the belief. She sees that connectivity, that connection. She recognizes her clients as being a green flag relationship in her life, so she's investing in that. She's pursuing them, supporting them, and also receiving that back in her own life. Step four is where you see a lot of reward from being intentional about identifying and following the green flags, which could be people, organizations, values, you name it, the green flags in your life.

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And then now we're going to get to 0.5, the last step and the green flag framework, and this is really where the rubber meets the road. Step five is to show others what is possible. Even just telling you about this step, I feel like in a really good way, my energy level rise because I'm so passionate about this, you guys, this is I guess my purpose in life, one of my purposes, and that is to show women what is possible. This is different than 0.3. Point three was just telling others what you learn, educating them. But 0.5 is it, okay? Point five is where the rubber meets the road. It's more meta than 0.3. Beyond telling people in 0.5, I'm talking about being an example for people, for other women who may be pursuing other green flags, you are listening to this and you and I might have different green flags in our lives, like a big green flag.

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For me, I'm passionate, especially when I hear about organizations, nonprofits that are empowering, women that are evangelistic in nature, that work through the local church, but also that are outside of the United States. And you might think that's kind of a funny combination, and that's okay. I just love the way those green flags can work together, and I'm so passionate about seeing how God works in those environments. Does that mean I don't have other green flags? Absolutely not. But if those are kind of stacked together or grouped together, I really want to lean into those opportunities because those are the things that energize me and match up so much with my values and my passions. So even if those aren't your green flags, I can still be an example of showing you what's possible. You see, as women who've identified the green flags in our lives, we can run alongside each other on our journeys.

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We can encourage each other and support each other. And if we are telling people what our green flags are, here's the thing, they're going to start noticing them and say, Hey, Dana, I heard about this opportunity. Do you know about this? You might want to look into that. And you know what that does? That increases a sense of purpose in my life, and it improves the relationship and the connection I have with that individual. So while others are providing that for me, I can provide that for them too as I learn about them, as I help them identify and ask them those questions, tell me what your green flags are. I start opening up my eyes and my ears to opportunities that might be able to be connected to them as well. You see 0.5 in the green flag framework is where our joy multiplies.

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My passion is to show women what is possible. You see, I'm sure you don't want my exact life. There are plenty of things about my life that would not be green flags for you, but the things I'm learning in pursuit of my green flags can provide you a framework to follow along just as you're building up your own life around the green flags that God has given you. And again, what I mentioned earlier in this episode was that you and I aren't just trying to build our perfect lives. What we're trying to do is use this framework to better understand our green flags, the things that we want to say yes to, and then use that understanding to be able to lean in to impact the greater community for the greater good, not just to serve ourselves, but to know that we are making an impact at a point of purpose that is significantly valuable to us.

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So 0.5, showing others what's possible. That's why I'm on this podcast every week. That's why I'm sending emails regularly to my email list. That's why I'm blogging and creating videos all the time, and it's why I love hearing women say they want to grow and they believe that more is possible within them. That's a really big green flag for me when I'm talking to a woman and she tells me she's interested in growing. So as I share that framework with you, I want you to think about an area that isn't quite a fit in your life right now. And I'm not asking you to cancel an individual. I'm not asking you to leave a job. I'm simply asking you to identify. You probably know what the red flags are, but you might need to just take a beat step back and say, why am I engaged in this?

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There was a green flag at some point here, and one of two things is probably going to happen. God's either going to reenergize your passion for that when you think about the green flag and how important it is to you. Or he might show you that things have shifted a bit and he's leading you in a different direction. Neither of these requires immediate action so much as it does surrender. Remember, we talked about the importance of mining your brain for gold, living a life that allows you to be curious without judgment about the thoughts that you're having. That's the secret sauce, ladies. That's what's going to help you become a woman who shows others what is possible, because you're willing to identify the green flags you already know about. You're willing to become a student, you're going to tell others what you're learning, then you're going to pursue those green flags with passion, and eventually you start showing people what is possible just by living your life, just by living out the values that God has given you and the things that you care so deeply about without apology.

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Well, I'm so grateful that we had this time to chat today about the Green Flag Framework. If this episode was helpful to you, please leave me a five star review that's going to help other people get access to this free content on my podcast every week. I would love to get to know you a little bit more. I share more about my life and my day-to-Day ongoings in my life through my email list. If you go to Dana by coaching.com, you can sign up there to receive my emails, and if you're interested in learning more about working with me, that sounds very fun. You can also find out more information about that@danabyerscoaching.com. Have a wonderful week.